


Remember Me

by TheHeartOfStories



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 90s AU, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - 1990s, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Art Student Petra, Botany Professor Hange, Computer/Software Engineer Levi, Drugs, F/M, Housewife Moblit, Marijuana, Reincarnation, Rivetra Trick 2020, Waitress Petra, rivetra
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:34:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27234316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHeartOfStories/pseuds/TheHeartOfStories
Summary: Autumn, 1999.While on a road trip out to Bumfuck Nowhere, Ohio, Levi is reunited with the ghost that haunted every waking moment of his last life.Will she remember him, or will her face haunt this life too?Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7vmfzfskMi4kzfVlhWFwR1This is for RivetraTrick 2020 for the Goth prompt.
Relationships: Levi/Petra Ral, Moblit Berner/Hange Zoë, Nanaba/Mike Zacharias
Comments: 20
Kudos: 40





	1. October 29, 1999: Coeur d'Alene, Idaho

Red fir trees nearly scraped the snow from the gray sky. Fog haunted their rough trunks. Ice hung from their evergreen needles and tinkled like chimes in the biting wind that whipped Levi’s red pickup truck left and right on the road. The truck’s bald tires skidded over every patch of black ice and ate all of the pot holes in the damn road no matter how Levi tried to maneuver around them. He grumbled about how his shocks were shot to shit while one corner of his folded up packing boxes half-hazardly shoved into the cab jabbed him in his ribs. Each time the card board tried to gouge his lungs out, he twisted his stereo knob up, swearing again and again whenever it popped off into his hand. Somehow, he managed to crank up his radio volume to ear-bleeding levels. By the time his truck finally crawled up his gravel driveway, he all but peeled out of the driver’s seat. 

Keys jammed in his skinny jeans’ pocket and boxes shoved into his arm pit, he crunched through the unshoveled snow to his shack of a house. Levi kicked his boots against the swollen front deck. Teeth chattering, his numb fingers fumbled with the house key and the frosted lock before he was finally able to kick the door open and hurry inside. The door screamed as it slammed shut behind his back. He ignored the house’s rattling while he carefully rested his moving boxes against the corduroy couch’s armrest. Then he crouched on his haunches to remove his boots and brushed chunks of ice from the pants folds round his ankles. Levi kept his fluffy socks on. 

Tip toeing around the melting snow on his door mat, he made his way around his thrift shop coffee table to the wood burning stove in the corner of the tiny living room. He shivered while he stuffed the stove full of the wood he had chopped a few weeks ago and sighed when he struck a match to light it. His hands wrung together, trying to bring some blood black into his stiff fingers. He lingered in front of the growing fire for another moment before closing it. 

“Tea,” Levi murmured to himself indulgently, his breath fogging in front of his face. 

He spun on his heel and strode into the cozy kitchen. Dented skillets and warped pots hung from cabinet rings over the narrow counters. Unpackaged boxes of tea (Earl Grey, Darjeeling, and Nilgiri were his favorites) lined the top of the gas stove. Polaroids of Farlan and Isabel from their cross-country travels were pinned to the fridge with his mother’s old magnet collection. Beside their photos were Erwin’s postcards from London, Paris, Rome, and Budapest. Levi only glanced at them before he went to rummage through the cabinets for his tea set. 

The kitchen tap shuddered before water hissed through its thawing pipes to fill his banged up kettle. With a clink, he set it on the stove. The burner spluttered to life. Levi tucked his hands into his armpits while he danced from foot to foot, glowering at his scratched table and its scuffed stools, his couch and its dumpy pillows -- all for being so unforgivably cold. 

Then, nestled on the bookshelf, his landline’s red light caught his eye. The scuffed floors creaked when he padded across the kitchen to the phone. He brought it to his ear as the one button blinked up at him, and he pressed it. His hand twisted the coiled cord around and around his fingers while he waited for the answering machine to play the voicemail waiting for him. 

“Levi --” Hanji’s voice screeched. Wincing, Levi pulled the phone away from his ear

“-- I did it! I finally did it!” She paused before becoming mockingly serious. “Call me as soon as you get my message.”

Then the recording clicked when Hanji had set her phone back on the receiver. Levi looked at his kettle over his shoulder wantingly.

“What the fuck did she do now,” he grumbled under his breath while he dialed Hanji’s number. 

She picked up the call mid first ring. 

“Le -- 

“-- Don’t scream my name,” Levi held the phone away from his face, scowling. 

“-- vi, you’ll never believe what I did,” she kept screaming. 

Levi groaned. 

“What did you do?” 

“You’re going to be so proud of me.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Uh huh,” she practically sang. 

“You obviously haven’t figured out what an inside voice is yet, so I doubt I’ll be  _ that  _ proud of whatever bullshit you’re about to spew.” 

She huffed. 

“You’re so mean to me.” 

“You make it sound like I was any nicer in our last life.” 

Levi fought back a smirk. 

“Well, unlike our last life, I actually took you and Erwin’s advice.”

“Wow, Four Eyes, you sure you’re feeling alright?”

Levi could almost hear Hanji rolling her eyes. 

“Despite the fact that it’s the middle of flu season, I’m more than fine,” she scoffed. 

“I’m sure Moblit would agree with that.” 

“Oh, he does -- don’t you worry -- but that’s not the only thing he agreed to.”

Levi raised a brow. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Drum roll please --” Hanji’s tongue trilled. 

“-- I think the fuck not --” 

“-- I proposed to Moblit!” 

Levi’s jaw dropped.

“What?” 

“I proposed to Moblit,” Hanji’s voice rose to levels that rivaled his truck’s stereo, “and he said yes!” 

“Wha -- Hanji! Congrats, man. That’s awesome!” 

Hanji shrieked with laughter. 

“Thank you. Thank you. I’m so happy Smalls.” 

Levi bit his tongue from chewing her ass out over that stupid nickname. 

“You should be. It’s been a long time coming.” 

“I know. I’m just happy we got a second chance like this.” 

Levi’s face fell ever so slightly as he leaned against the side of the bookshelf. 

“Yeah --” he nodded. 

“-- I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be.” 

Hanji was quiet for a moment. 

“I’m sure you’ll find her again, Levi.” 

“Cut the crap, Shitty Glasses. This phone call is about you, not me.” 

“Well,” she perked up a bit, “Moblit and I are going to throw an engagement party here in Ohio, and we wanted to invite all of the old Scouts.” 

“Oh,” Levi straightened. “What day will it be?” 

“We’re thinking November 2nd. I’d really like it if you could come. I know you’re busy with the move out to Flagstaff --” 

“I can be there November 1st. I’ll call Farlan and Isabel to give them a heads up before I finish packing up. Then I’ll shove everything into the bed of my truck and leave on the 31st.” 

“Levi, that’s, like, a three day drive!” 

“I’ll do it in two.” 

“You have to sleep.” 

“I will.” 

“Levi,” Hanji growled. “More than four hours.”

“Sleep is for the weak.” 

The kettle shrilled, and Levi nearly jumped out of his skin. 

“Holy shit,” he seethed. “Hang on a minute.” 

“We’re not done with this conversation!” 

Levi rushed to prepare his cup of tea, and he set it on the counter to steep before returning to the call. 

“Sorry about that. Forgot my kettle was on the stove.” 

“Figures that tea would interrupt the most important phone call of our lives.” 

“Shut up,” Levi clicked his tongue.

“Well, anyways,” Hanji changed the subject, “I’ll tell you and the other Scouts all about how the proposal went down once you guys get here.”

“Who’s all gonna be there?” 

“I, uh, I actually haven’t called anyone else yet.” 

Levi felt his cheeks color. 

“Oh,” he mumbled, touched that Hanji would call him first. 

“You’ve, just, um, have always been my best friend and --” 

“-- Can it,” he barked. “Don’t make this any weirder than it has to be!” 

Unspoken words hung between them. They bound their friendship to their hearts and tied their lives together. 

“Yeah,” Hanji chuckled awkwardly. “You’re right. But Moblit and I will invite Erwin and Nanaba.” 

“Still no Mike then, huh?” 

Hanji sighed. 

“No, nothing yet. But we won’t give up looking for him and the others!” 

Levi nodded, throat too tight to speak when he thought of how much he related to Nanaba’s loneliness, but Hanji knew him well enough that he didn’t need to say anything else. 

“Well, I’ve gotta get going, Levi. Do you need my address?” 


	2. November 1, 1999: Delaware, Ohio

The uneven sidewalks of Ohio Wesleyan University and Delaware’s snaking streets were unsalted and iced over. After slipping one too many times for her liking, Petra trudged through the frosted grass and rotten leaves, cursing herself for still stubbornly wearing the Vans her mom bought her for her 13th birthday. Their soles were worn down with a shallow hole in one heel, but she couldn’t bear to part with her favorite shoes. At least she could cling from tree to tree that lined the road to her apartment. 

And there it was, a house split in half: the top an apartment and the bottom another. When Petra first met the landlord that July, he had been sitting on the sagging wrap-around porch, a coffee in hand and a yellow boa constrictor draped over his lap. Petra then promised herself that the top floor apartment would be hers if she had any say in the matter. 

It crookedly towered over the neighboring houses. Its chipping lead paint snowed on passing folks’ heads. Petra couldn’t help but smile to herself as she climbed its rusted staircase, its groaning and creaking the “welcome home” befitting for the struggling art student that she was. 

But her face fell when she smelled _it_ as she shouldered the screen door open. 

Alan’s friends lined the living room walls like a nicotine stain, quietly chuckling amongst themselves as they passed a blunt around the circle with her retired elephant bubbler also in rotation. The screenless windows were thrown up for the smoke to escape. Alan’s dab rig laid on its side on the carpet. Her blowtorch was kicked half under the moth-eaten couch. She chewed her cheek while she kicked off her Vans. 

“Hey, Pet,” Chase coughed her name out with his lungs. 

Sighing, Petra grimaced and slowly turned around with the brightest smile she could muster plastered onto her cold cheeks. 

“Hey guys,” she chirped. 

Chase held the blunt out to her from across the room. 

“It’s your turn,” he smirked. 

Her smile dimmed but held. 

“Nah,” she shouldered her coat off and hung it up. “I told y’all I quit.” 

Chase’s denim jacket rustled as he shrugged. 

“Suit yerself,” he grumbled. 

Petra hurried down the hallway with her head low. She pushed into her dark bedroom. The broken blinds were still closed. The fading afternoon light that seeped through its cracks cast shadows about her easel and drying canvases. Spots of spilled turpentine burnt her nose as she shuffled around a pile of dirty laundry and rot-caked kitchen boots. She stood at the foot of her frameless mattress where Alan was nakedly splayed out beneath her zebra print comforter. 

She crouched down to touch his exposed calf. 

“Alan, wake up.” 

No answer. She shook him and noticed the splashes of raw umber that clung to her chapped hands. 

“Alan, ya need to wake up or we’re gonna be late for work.” 

“‘M up,” he mumbled into the drool spot on his coverless pillow.

Petra sat back on her haunches. 

“Alright. I’m gonna finish getting ready then.” 

She stood and went to the closet they shared. She rifled through her dirty clothes hamper, searching for the uniform with the fewest grease blotches. Her black tights had holes in the knees with blown out seams near her ankles and up the thighs, but it was the only pair she had. Her boss would just have to suffer ‘til she could buy another pair with her next paycheck. 

Her lungs hitched when she thought of her tuition, the rent, the utilities, and her credit card debt building up because last month she had to decide between groceries and heat. 

Grunting, Alan threw the blankets off of himself. Petra swallowed down the anxiety that gnawed at her chest; she’d stress over how to make it through this month after work. 

“Chase and the guys are over,” she talked fast over her shoulder while her arms bundled her work uniform against her chest. 

Alan stilled. 

“They say anything to you?” 

He stood up and took a step towards her. 

“N-no,” she swallowed. “But, uh, Chase said hello.” 

Worrying her lip, she dared to face Alan. He nodded, his brows set low. 

“I’ll talk to him,” he growled.

Petra jerked forward, too anxious to nod, and strode out of the bedroom without a second look at her boyfriend. 

When she reached the bathroom, she locked the door behind herself and slumped against it. The mirror, edged with frost, showed her herself: a girl she used to know. Phthalo blue smudged the rise of one freckled cheek. Her fingers, chipped nail polish stained with India yellow, plucked dried modeling clay from her hair. Lavender, as dark as bruises, kissed just beneath her tired eyes. Throat thick, her chin wobbled when she sniffled. 

Was this really her life? How had she become such a coward?

She straightened herself and rolled her tense shoulders back. Her eyes fell from the ghost of her reflection while she fumbled with the little buttons on her paint-covered flannel shirt. After a few more minutes of voracious scrubbing, she managed to scrub most of the acrylic paint off of her skin and the last of the clay out of her hair. An extra oil brush held her hair up, red tendrils spilling over her thin shoulders. 

A knock on the bathroom door made her jump. 

“Are ya ready yet,” Alan called to her. 

“Yeah,” she yelled back as she nervously ran her hands over her skirt wrinkles. 

Walking to work with Alan always set her on edge. 

She breathed deeply through her nose, held her lungs full for a few seconds, and then sighed before leaving the bathroom. As she passed through the kitchen to get back to the living room, her nose wrinkled, and she made a mental note to do the dishes that had piled up over the past two weeks. 

Alan slouched against the front door, pulling on a blunt. 

“A wake ‘n’ bake is the only thing better than your creamy thighs first thing in th’mornin’, babe,” he coughed and passed the blunt back to Jared, who was perched on the couch armrest. 

Alan grinned at her while she threw her coat back on. Her face felt green with disgust as they left her apartment. He jammed his hands into his pockets and whistled about the cold. Petra and Alan were quiet as they walked through the dead grass and leaves, weaving around the barren trees along the road that led to their night shift at Buns Restaurant.


	3. November 1, 1999: Delaware, Ohio

Lamp posts flooded the quiet streets with orange light. Groups of city employees in neon vests wrapped bundles of green, red, and white Christmas lights around the thin trees that guided Levi through the two blocks that made up downtown Delaware. He almost wept with relief when his truck slid its way down North Sandusky Street towards Hanji’s house: his ass was numb from 31 hours of nonstop sitting and sleeping in his cab.

But soon, _soon_ \-- he turned down East Winter Street, wary of black ice sheets blanketing the potholed road -- his aching legs could stretch out. 

Levi peered through tendrils of leafless willow trees right before spotting Hanji’s cottage. He rolled up its slanted driveway, which was blessedly salted but wretchedly carless. The shuttered windows were dark too. Cursing, Levi killed his engine and stiffly hopped out of the driver’s seat, jamming his hands into leather jacket pockets. His boots crunched up the front porch steps. Standing on the floral doormat, Levi knocked. 

No answer. 

He knocked again and swore because of the damned silence. 

Levi spun on his heel. Scowling at twilight’s passing shadows, he stalked past his truck for the shoveled sidewalks. He was betting his left nut Hanji was still tied up on campus doing whatever the fuck botany professors did in early winter. Fantasies of ringing her little neck kept his shivering at bay as he flicked his hoodie up. 

Frosted leaves littered the uneven sidewalk, crunching beneath his feet. Levi wove through narrow streets haunted by lively frats and sororities. Nestled between college life were brick houses from the turn of the last century, gaudily decorated with pumpkins and cauldrons and turkeys and the beginnings of manger scenes. But downtown was quiet for the early evening. Shops bursting with Autumn cheer were already closed. Weary parents ushered their squawking kids back to the minivans, promising a home with warm blankets and Christmas bedtime stories. 

As he practically hiked up to campus, he could’ve killed for a plate of dinner right then and there.

Aglow icicles dripped from Ohio Wesleyan University’s gable roofs. Students with bookbags thrown over their shoulders milled about plantless planters. Levi strode past herds of them, sucking on his tongue piercing to keep his stomach from growling. 

A straggler with their red nose in a book caught his eye. He stopped right in front of the kid, and he nearly face-planted into him.

“Hey,” Levi said as he grabbed his shoulder to steady him. 

The kid looked up at him like a deer caught in headlights. 

“Ope, ‘scuse me,” their breath fogged the space between them as he tried to maneuver around Levi. 

Levi dropped his arm and stepped in front of him again, glaring.

“Wait a minute,” he growled. “D’you know where Doctor Hanji Zoe’s classroom is? She’s some botany professor on campus.” 

Levi stuffed his hands back into his pockets. He shifted his weight from foot to foot to give some blood back to his cold toes. 

“Uh, yeah, she’s. . .” 

The kid gave Levi some pretty decent directions; he made only one wrong turn. When the Environmental Sciences building jutted into view, Levi jogged the rest of the way to the entrance. His heart sang with the swoosh of hot air as he hurried inside. Thankfully, the building wasn’t big. After three hallways full of cheesy landscape photography, Levi found himself at the threshold of Hanji’s lecture hall. 

The room itself was small, and every available flat surface was seated with a potted plant. Lengths of morning glory scaled the walls. Empty desks were devoted to green and purple succulents basking beneath heat lamps. Any extra wall space was occupied by cinder blocks topped by wood planks piled high with weathered books, some in languages Levi didn’t recognize. 

Quietly sauntering into the classroom, he lowered his hood and slumped into the deserted back row. Dr. Zoe was perched on the edge of her cluttered desk at the front of the room. Her glasses were pushed into her greasy hair that refused to move even though she gestured about wildly. Her students were clustered in the seats right in front of her. Some scribbled away in nearly filled notebooks. A few, with their heads propped up on the balls of their hands, were almost snoring. 

“. . . that’s how Joseph Bienaime Caventou isolated chlorophyll in 1817,” Hanji squealed, slamming her hands onto the edge of her desk before hopping to her feet. “But y’all should’ve already covered that material in this class’ prereq.” 

She clapped, beaming at her students as she lowered her glasses.

“Are there any last minute questions? No? Then y’all’re dismissed!” 

Levi swallowed vomit over Hanji’s accent. Who the hell spoke like that with a fucking _doctorate degree_? 

Kids flooded out of the lecture hall and Hanji, her back to him, fiddled with stacks of crumpled paperwork. He stood from his seat. 

“First it was titans and now it’s plants.” Levi tried not to grin as he walked down the aisle. “You really haven’t changed much, Four Eyes.” 

Startled, Hanji whipped around. Papers flew everywhere as she lunged forward and yanked him into a life-threatening hug. 

“Levi,” she sang with her face buried in his neck as she squeezed him tighter. 

“Fuck,” he gasped. “You’re going to kill me, dammit.” 

He clapped her on the back hard. 

“Ow,” she hissed before letting go, smiling. “I’m so happy you’re here.” 

“Yeah,” he put his hands in his pockets, “me too. I guess.” 

Hanji rolled her eyes before slinking her arm through his. 

“How was your drive? Wait, let’s go get Moblit. He’ll be relieved that you got here safely; he was nervous about you driving that ancient truck of yours through the snow --” 

“-- Hey, don’t knock Rosie like that --” 

Snorting, she guided him out of her classroom, strewn about papers long forgotten. 

“Rosie? Really? You’re about as creative as a box o’ rocks, Smalls.” 

Levi raised a brow, side eyeing her as they left the Environmental Sciences building. 

“I don’t need shit from a plant freak.” 

They braved the cold together. Students were scarce, and any that were seen had their beanies pulled low with their scarves tucked around their faces. 

“You know you love me.” 

Levi clicked his tongue as they walked briskly past quiet campus buildings. 

“You’re lucky I do.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah, or I wouldn’t be freezing my cock and balls off right now. I thought Idaho winters were shitty. It’s cold as all fuck out here.” 

“Oh,” Hanji cooed, glancing at him motherly. “No wonder you’re still single.” 

Levi glowered. 

“Eat shit.” 

They walked up the steps to another single story facility. Only one light winked at them from inside. 

“I mean, I do eat ass so,” she laughed, “been there done that.” 

“What the fuck.” 

Levi died a little inside.Hanji threw open the glass entrance door. 

“You mean to tell me ya’ven’t ate ass before?” 

Hanji’s jaw dropped mockingly while she pushed Levi inside. 

“Don’t touch me with your nasty ass fingers.”

He shrugged her hand off and turned around, walking backwards. 

“And not on your life would I _ever_.”

“That just means you haven’t met the right person. 

She flashed him a shit-eating grin. Levi’s face screwed up: a literal ass-eating smile. 

“O.K. it’s time to change subjects before I puke all over you.” 

Hanji practically cackled as she pushed past him. He followed close behind her. The halls were lit by one light each with the red exit signs at their ends casting a hellish glow about the rooms Hanji ducked her head in and out of. 

“What does Moblit teach here?” 

Hanji looked at Levi over her shoulder. 

“He teaches the nursing students -- Moblit,” she shrieked as she darted inside one of the rooms. 

Levi stood at the entrance and leaned against it with his arms crossed over his chest. Hanji flung herself at Moblit. They collided, and Hanji must’ve knocked the wind out of him just like she had Levi; Moblit gasped before he wrapped his arms around her. Levi smirked while Hanji peppered her fiance with kisses. 

Then his eyes dropped to the linoleum floor, his empty stomach feeling even more hollow. 

“L-Levi,” Moblit croaked. 

Levi looked up, a brow raised at Moblit’s flushed cheeks and Hanji’s skewed glasses. 

“I, uh -- we’re happy to have you with us!” 

“It’s good to see you guys too.” 

Reluctantly, Hanji peeled herself off of Moblit. He nervously -- and not so covertly -- pulled at his scrubs bunching up at his crotch. Their gaze met, and Levi rolled his eyes. 

“So --” 

“Are ya'll hungry,” Hanji cut Moblit off with a slap to the chest. 

“Fuck _yes_ ,” Levi groaned, dropping his arms to his sides. 

“What’re ya in the mood for?” 

Moblit pinched Hanji’s elbow before striding over to his desk. 

“I could eat a tire at this rate.” 

Laughing, he shouldered his coat on and zipped it up. 

“I know a place we can go to right off Sandusky.” 

Then he slung a bookbag over one shoulder. 

“There’re places still open ‘round here?” 

Moblit shuffled past Levi with Hanji in tow. He walked a bit behind them. 

“Well, I think it’s the only place still open right about now.” 

***

Buns Restaurant was pleasantly quiet. The warm lights were dimmed low. The cozy dining room smelled like baking bread and basil. They were ushered into a booth, and Levi hummed contentedly as Hanji nestled herself against Moblit’s side. Levi took off his jacket. Smiling, Moblit draped an arm over Hanji’s shoulders, his cheeks a terrible shade of pink. 

The waitress who sat them came back to their table, laminated menus pinched against her side. She set water with lemon wedges stuck on the glasses’ lip on the wood table with a gentle thunk. Levi liked her blown out Americana style tattoos that licked up her track-marked forearms. When she noticed him looking, she winked. Levi debated crawling under the table.

After Shannon took their orders, Hanji sat a bit straighter in her seat. 

“So you’re moving out to Arizona.” 

She plopped her elbow onto the table and rested her chin in her hand. Levi nodded. 

“Yeah.” 

He sipped his water while Hanji stared at him expectantly. 

“Fine,” he sighed, a bit annoyed. “Yeah, I’m going to Flagstaff. Isabel and Farlan convinced me to move in with them.” 

“That’s awesome,” Moblit leaned back against the booth’s wall. 

“How do you feel about leaving Idaho? What’s yer ma think about it,” Hanji bubbled over.

“Uh,” Levi squeezed his lemon wedge over his water. “I’m gonna miss how quiet Coeur d’Alene is, but I think it’s time to move on.” 

Hanji bobbed her head. 

“And mom. . . She’s nervous, but she’s my mom so.” 

Levi shrugged before popping the lemon’s crushed flesh into his mouth, sucking it off the rind.

“Yeah, I get that.” 

Moblit shuddered while he watched Levi devour the lemon. 

“Damn, I knew you were hungry but. . .” He laughed. 

Hanji joined in with him, and Levi scowled at his melting ice cubes. 

“So what’re ya doin’ for work now, Smalls?” 

Levi spit out the yellow rind onto a napkin. 

“Software engineer.” 

His stomach growled. 

“And how’s that going?” 

“It’s alright. Just making websites for people who reach out to me and what not.” 

“It’s crazy how fast things change like this,” Moblit murmured, his head hitting the wall lightly. 

Levi nodded, chewing his cheek. 

“So,” he moved his ass around on the seat. The numbness from the drive was settling into his muscles again. “How’d everything go down?” 

Levi pointedly looked at Hanji’s fingers, but there was no ring. Moblit, on the other hand. . .

“Oh,” she squealed, bouncing in her seat. “I wanna save the story for when everyone’s here!” 

Levi perked up a bit. 

“Erwin and Nanaba are for sure coming then?” 

“Mhm,” Hanji hummed. 

Moblit beamed at his fiancee. 

“Erwin should be here soon, and I think Nana said she’ll get here the day of the party.” 

“I’m real happy for you two,” Levi gulped down his water. 

Hanji smiled wide, easy. 

“Thanks Cap’n.” 

A heavy silence settled over them. Hanji moved her glasses into her hair, and Levi’s nose wrinkled again at its greasiness. 

“So,” her hands came together before her hooked nose, brown eyes alight. “Erwin found Marie.” 

Levi’s brows furrowed. 

“Why do you sound like someone died, then?” 

“She didn’t get them back.” 

His lips pressed thin. 

“What,” he whispered, shocked. His stomach rolled over for poor Erwin. Levi couldn’t imagine a worse fate than finding the woman he loved only for her to not remember anything when she saw him.

He gulped. Hanji nodded. Moblit sat up and leaned forward to hear her better. 

“It’s all starting to make sense now, guys.” 

“Care to explain?” 

They watched Hanji succumb to the swirl of her theories. Before him, Hanji _Zoe_ rose to the surface of this new life. Levi saw it in the crease between her brows and the way her dimples deepened as she spoke. 

“Erwin and Marie locked eyes, but Marie didn’t remember anything. Moblit and I locked eyes, and we remembered everything. You and I locked eyes, and you remembered everything too. That means people don’t regain their memories because they see their true loves again, which is what I had thought originally.” 

Levi took another drink and crunched on ice while Hanji started to talk faster. 

“So I realized -- well, _I think_ \-- we get the memories back when we meet the eyes of the last person we thought about right before our deaths.” 

Levi slumped against the booth, the wind knocked out of him. 

“Fuck,” he breathed. 

When their dinner came, they didn’t talk for a long time. Their heads swam with the implications of Hanji’s observations.

***

  
  


The night shift was slow. Alan and the other cooks slouched over the empty bar while a hostess flipped through TV channels. The bartender sat on a sticky stool, popping green olives into her mouth with a plastic sword. The boss sent the wait staff all over the restaurant with Windex and clean rags. 

“Work for your paycheck,” Vasili scolded them, all red face and bushy eyebrows. 

When the dinner rush never came, he hid away in the back kitchen to bake his divine chocolate cakes, colorfully muttering in Greek the rest of the night. Then the kitchen manager’s hand was forced to cut people off for the night. 

“Pet,” Suzie’s flats clicked as she made her way over to where the little waitress scurried about the dining room, piling dirty dishware in her arms. “You’re cut. Clean up and go home.” 

Her thin shoulders drooped, stomach sinking to the depths of her toes. How was she going to make rent at this rate? Suzie worried her lip when the polite smile fell from Petra’s sweetheart face. 

“I’m sorry,” Suzie reached out to her. 

Then she was off again, white hair swaying back and forth while she went after her next victim. 

***

Levi stared. He stared like some fucking creep, but he didn’t give a shit.

Because there she was, across the room with her back towards them. 

She bent over a table. As quick as a bird, she perched dishware and cutlery on the blades of her arms. Red hair spilled over her neck from where a knot of it was held up by a paint brush. 

“No fucking way,” Hanji hissed as she reached across the table to grab Levi’s collar. “Are you seeing this?” 

His throat went dry, and he couldn’t swallow. No, couldn’t even _breathe_. 

“Say something to her!” 

Hanji shook him out of his stupor. He smacked her hand away and flew to his feet. His jacket fell under the table, but he didn’t give a rat’s ass. 

“Petra,” he choked out. 

His sweaty fists clenched and unclenched. 

She stood up and carefully lifted her full arms, a few plates precariously balanced against her hip. And then she waltzed towards the kitchen. The color drained from Levi’s face as he watched the vision of her slipping away, just out of reach. 

“Petra,” he barked, harsh and skinned. 

The girl froze, one foot on tiptoes before she slowly turned around. 

***

It was the voice. The one she heard in the black echoes of the deepest dreams she couldn’t remember when her alarm wrenched her awake.

All she could do was face whatever was behind her. No, face _him._

Levi stood across from her, all frozen except for the shaking hands at his sides. He was pale and scarless with full cheeks and gently parted lips. Blush kissed the bridge of his slender nose, the rise and fall of his chin and jaw. Even though he was dressed in only black, his hair -- still cut the same -- was shades darker still.

She watched him swallow, watched those gray eyes -- new to her and yet so known to her being, to everything that she was -- become rimmed with red at their sooty edges. 

Petra stopped breathing as everything flooded back to her. The plates and bowls and spoons and crumpled napkins crashed to the ground all about her feet. 

“Captain.” 

A sob tumbled from her trembling lips.

She moved. 

***

It was her, and she was in his arms. 

Petra, shaking and crying against the hollow of his thick throat. So _alive._

His hands found her back, traced over her shoulders and nape to tangle in her loose hair. He rested his cheek against her forehead and tried to remember how to speak. 

“Is,” she hiccupped and pulled back just enough to look at him again, “is this real?” 

He swallowed. His head jerked about, couldn’t really figure out how to nod. 

“You know me?” 

She tasted his breath as it ghosted over the bow of her lip. 

“How could I ever forget you?” 

Her nose was warm against his Adam’s apple. He blinked away the burn of salt furiously. 

“Excuse me,” a thick accent spat out behind them. 

Petra jumped back from Levi but kept an arm around his hips. As red as all hell, she turned to face her boss. 

“Uh,” her thin brows shot up. 

“All this shit’s coming out of your paycheck,” Vasili growled, pointing from her to the pile of shattered plates a good distance away from where she stood now. 

She bubbled over with nervous laughter, nodding. 

“Yessir,” she hiccupped and wiped at her face. 

“Get back to work,” Vasili scowled. 

“Oh,” Petra straightened. 

As he spun on his heel, damning her in Greek as he wove his way back to the kitchen, her stomach grew knots. But Levi’s hand never left the small of her waist, strong and reassuring and _real._

Gently, he gripped her bicep, pulling her to his chest. 

“When can I see you again,” he breathed against the top of her head. 

“I’ll be off of work soon.” 

“Where should I meet you?” 

Petra hiccupped. 

“There’s a parking lot behind Buns. Wait for me there. I’ll be off real soon.” 

She pulled away. They looked at each other again but didn’t say goodbye; they knew -- the Scouts knew -- it was too easy to tempt fate like that. 

When Petra made her way back to the kitchen to find a broom, she couldn’t meet Alan’s eyes.


	4. Let's Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: domestic violence

Rusted cars filled Buns’ back parking lot. A street lamp cast the shadows orange against the black ice sheets. Levi, with his hood flicked up and arms crossed over his chest, leaned against a mom van covered in stickers and frost. He shuffled from foot to foot, trying to force blood back into his toes. Everything was quiet, like the hush before a blizzard.

It had only been about 20 minutes since Hanji and Moblit headed back home with reassurances that they’d keep the front door unlocked for him. Petra’s smell still lingered on Levi’s wrists, his hands; walnut oil and clay and something chemical that burned his nose. Holding her, if only for those fleeting seconds, was like coming home. He’d wait in that parking lot for her well after he turned gray if that’s what it took to even catch a glimpse of her again. 

Buns Restaurant towered before him, tall enough to scrape the low storm clouds from the very sky itself. Above the restaurant, apartment windows were aglow behind closed curtains. Then, on the side of the building, a creaky door swishing open caught Levi’s eye. Light flooded the parking lot with a flurry of angry voices. His brows drew together, and he took a step closer. 

“Alan, I told ya I'll be back later tonight.” 

Petra’s patience was on thin ice. The back door slammed shut behind them. Alan’s face looked ghostly beneath the dim lamplight, but his beady eyes ragefully blazed. Levi ducked behind car hoods and crouched low, hidden in the shadows. 

“And I told you  _ no _ ,” he hissed, closing the distance between them. His foggy breath whipped hot against her scowl. 

“I can make my own choices.” She took a step back. 

Alan chuckled darkly as he looked at the ground, his head shaking once slowly. He followed Petra. Levi’s hackles raised. He felt the rush of adrenaline warm his fingertips. 

“You’re making a stupid fucking choice.” 

“I’m literally just gonna hang with some friends.” She folded her arms across her chest, feeling like a petulant child. 

“Yeah? ‘N’ I’ve asked you a bunch o’ times how you know these goddamn people since you’ve never once mentioned them, but you can’t even give me a straight fucking answer.” 

“Why does how I met them even matter to you?” Petra got louder. 

“Don’t raise yer fucking voice at me, bitch.” Alan bashed his forehead against hers, smashed their noses together. A whimper clawed through her throat.“I’ve given you fuckin’ all of me, ‘n’ here ya go, probably cheatin’ behind my back like the cheap whore you are.” 

“How many times do I have to tell you that I’ve never cheated on you? Get the hell off o’ me,” she yelled, pushing Alan’s shoulder. 

Levi shot up, his fists clenching at his sides. Like in a dream, the world slowed down as he moved forward with a stomach full of knots. Levi wasn’t some genetically modified super soldier anymore. He was just a computer geek from Bumfuck Nowhere, Idaho, and, as his bootsteps echoed off of the brick building side, he sure as hell didn’t know what he was about to do -- or even could do. 

Alan didn’t budge. His hand flew to catch Petra’s wrist. Alan yanked her against his chest and grabbed her jaw with his other hand, fingers painfully pinching her cold cheeks. He jerked her once, and the paintbrush slipped from her crown. As her lips puckered, her hair fell about her shoulders. Her brows pushed together. Fear froze her in place. 

“Now ya listen to me, Petra.” He lifted his head to look down at her. She glowered. “You ain’t goin’ nowhere tonight. D’ya understand me?” 

Petra surveyed the twisted curves of Alan’s face. He looked different, she realized; this wasn’t the person she had fallen in love with her senior year of high school, the man who promised her the freedom from her alcoholic father she so desperately craved. No, this beast before her wore a mask of love and used it to chain her to a life she nearly didn’t want anymore. What Petra wanted, though, more than anything, was to be the fearless woman she knew she once was. Petra  _ Ral  _ wouldn’t have put up with this shit, and she sure as all fuck wouldn’t anymore. 

Her eyes narrowed as she took a deep breath. Then, she hacked and spit in Alan’s face. Howling, he let go of her. She watched him raise his hand, but she heard the resounding  _ slap  _ before she felt it sting her cheek. A cry escaped her lips as she stumbled backwards. Crumpling to her knees, she gingerly held her face. 

“HEY,” Levi bellowed, heart pounding in his chest so hard it hurt his ribs as he closed the distance between all of them. 

“Who the fuck’re you?” 

Alan’s face screwed up with recognition when Levi fisted his shirt and forced him against the back door, snarling. Fuck, Levi couldn’t hold onto Alan as he twisted his wrist. Suddenly, knuckles bit his face, and his muscles screamed as he lurched backwards. But he didn’t let go while blood flooded his mouth from his split lip. 

Levi wasn’t the man he once was. Gasping, Petra looked up and met Levi’s hesitant gaze. Her brows furrowed when she saw rust spilling from his nose, down his chin. But, when she looked at him with those familiar amber eyes, he knew he was strong enough to be anything she needed him to be. And that was enough for him. 

Levi cocked his fist back and threw all of his weight behind his punch. Alan’s head slammed against the door. Levi’s knuckles gave out with a sickening crunch as the force ran up his arm and burned his shoulder. Spitting curses, Alan’s hands flew to his face as he slid to the ground, and Levi let him go. 

With a groan, he turned towards Petra as he furiously tried to wipe the blood from his lips. His good hand grabbed her shirt collar and dragged her to her feet. Her legs threatened to give out beneath her weight. His arm wrapped around her trembling shoulders, and he tucked her against his side. 

“Let’s go,” he whispered into her hair as he pulled her into the parking lot. 

High above their bowed heads, the sky broke, and snow fell. 


End file.
